Interviews with Anime FanSubbing Staff

The Goddess interviews thewebchat who times and edits for BSS

uniquec: Another episode on getting victims when people offer themselves when they make random comments like how come certain people have interviews and they don't have one. The Goddess will respond it can be arrange. We bring you thewebchat of BSS who pretends to fansub when he isn't being kicked out of groups who seems to be into cannabalism.

uniquec: Ready then for the boring questions? ^^

thewebchat: :D

uniquec: So what do you do?

thewebchat: Mostly I sit around in staff channels and pretend to work while pissing off senior members. On the occasion, I also time and edit.

uniquec: More annoyance material. ~

thewebchat: Hurf.

uniquec: Who do you pretend to work for?

thewebchat: Indeed, currently I only "work" for BSS.

uniquec: Who have you "work" for previously?

thewebchat: Actually, I began fansubbing by actually *working* and not "working" for AINEX. You might know them as a somewhat-disreputable C->E group. I've also been in FROSTII and AYU before being fired for "work"ing.

uniquec: How long have you been fansubbing?

thewebchat: It must be about a year now. Time goes by rather quickly when you don't do anything.

uniquec: It surely does.

uniquec: So who would you want to be stranded on a desert island with?

thewebchat: Obviously Kokizzzle since he's my bro.

thewebchat: I could like eat him and use his bones for tools.

uniquec: He's that useful.

thewebchat: Indeed.

uniquec: What are your hobbies outside anime?

thewebchat: And, outside of "the internets", I mostly am preoccupied with my job. I manage a small IT firm that offers custom solutions to local businesses.

uniquec: So where would you like to travel but never been?

thewebchat: I would like to visit Alaska and meet a bro.

uniquec: Only reason you would want to go there?

thewebchat: Indeed. Other than that, it's just a pile of useless snow and bears and stuff.

uniquec: And he's useless as well?

thewebchat: Indeed he is.

thewebchat: I am still waiting for him to send me my smoked salmon and salmon jerky.

uniquec: Lol. Where have you been to that you would recomend?

thewebchat: Well, to be honest, there's really no place but Mother Russia. I moved from Russia to the U.S.A. several years ago, but it's just not quite the same as the homeland.

uniquec: How do you see yourself 20 years from now?

thewebchat: To answer this, I have no vision. I see nothing past 5 minutes from now.

uniquec: No plans...goals?

thewebchat: Indeed.

uniquec: Live for the moment?

thewebchat: No.

uniquec: So anything you would like to do but never done?

thewebchat: I would like to go outside and see the sunlight, if only once.

uniquec: What stopping you then?

thewebchat: It's too bright. Makes my skin burn.

uniquec: There is sunscreen unless you are a vampire.

thewebchat: Indeed, but the very procurement of sunscreen requires entry to the bright overworld.

uniquec: You only go out in the dark then.

thewebchat: Indeed.

thewebchat: Ah, I hadn't thought of that.

uniquec: What is your favourite food?

thewebchat: Obviously it has to be ONIGIRI and DANGO.

uniquec: Why is that?

thewebchat: Obviously because eating them makes me feel more in tune with my native azn soul. It lets me feel like I could be a jap even though I am Russian.

uniquec: So in your previous life you were asian then?

thewebchat: Indeed. In my previous life, I shared the same spirit-form as my brother Kokizzzle.

uniquec: Twins perhaps?

thewebchat: Nay.

thewebchat: We were but one, fractured by cruel fate and cast into differing bodies.

uniquec: Oh my. What is the food you hate the most?

thewebchat: The food I hate most is the food of my endless grief. My bottomless pain. My boundless suffering.

thewebchat: Clearly this can be nothing other than the DOUBLE EXTRA LARGE KFC BUCKET.

uniquec: Double the pain. How do you to eat eggs?

thewebchat: Clearly I consume my enhanced geothermal systems raw.

thewebchat: Ah, eggs I eat sunny-side up. It is the most civilised and British form of egg consumption.

uniquec: With any condiments on the side ?

thewebchat: Nay. Nothing to distract from the rich flavour that is bird fetus.

uniquec: Innie or outie belly button?

thewebchat: Clearly I would have no unsightly protrusions from my stomache like the barbarian Slavs. This very suggestion deeply offends my native British soul.

uniquec: Thought you were Russian. :p

thewebchat: That can't stop me from having a British soul can it?

uniquec: Be consisent about ones story since you also have an Asaian soul.

thewebchat: Nay, I said I had a *inner asian soul*, but my exterior soul-form is British.

uniquec: Introvert or extrovert?

thewebchat: I consider myself extroverted but everyone around me deaf.

uniquec: Why would you say that?

thewebchat: Because no matter how my wretched soul screams in pain, none can hear it.

uniquec: And you are constantly in pain. Boxers or briefs?

thewebchat: Panties. Pink with white polka dots.

uniquec: Comfy?

thewebchat: Moderately.

uniquec: Favourite colour?

thewebchat: Infrared. Grey is a close second.

uniquec: Light, medium, or dark grey?

thewebchat: Light.

uniquec: Do you remember your dreams?

thewebchat: Nay. I dream not.

uniquec: Your entire existance is a dream.

thewebchat: No, that is a senseless sophism.

thewebchat: Wow, this interview started forty minutes ago.

thewebchat: D:

uniquec: Reallly? Favourite movie?

thewebchat: Last Action Hero.

thewebchat: Well, it just is. It's like "The Matix." You have to "feel" it to understand.

uniquec: And you just feel it.

thewebchat: Indeed.

uniquec: Which movie you hate the most?

thewebchat: The Matix.

uniquec: You just don't feel it.

thewebchat: Indeed.

uniquec: Do you like "My Little Pony"?

thewebchat: What?

uniquec: Thank ThaEagle for that question.

thewebchat: Sorry, I just don't understand.

uniquec: It was a kid show with mass merchandise not sure which came first the toys of plastic colour ponies or the cartoon show.

thewebchat: I see.

thewebchat: That sounds very cute and charming, but when I became a man, I put away childish things.

uniquec: There isn't anything childish about you?

thewebchat: Nothing at all.

uniquec: Is there anything that you cherish?

thewebchat: Aye. I cherish my brother Kokizzzle and would eat him immediately if ever we were stranded.

uniquec: You just want to eat him.

thewebchat: No, it is much deeper than that.

uniquec: How much more deeper can you get wanting to consume him?

thewebchat: Ah.

thewebchat: Quite deep.

thewebchat: It is like a spiritual bond.

uniquec: What type of music do you enjoy?

thewebchat: Trance.

uniquec: What song would be you anthem?

uniquec: Or best describe you.

thewebchat: Bad Boys. From Cops.

uniquec: Are you that bad?

thewebchat: Very Bad.

uniquec: In what sense?

thewebchat: In the baddest sense possible.

uniquec: That bad. :p

thewebchat: Aye. That bad.

uniquec: How would you like to be remember after your death?

thewebchat: I would like to be remembered as the one who ate Kokizzzle.

uniquec: Only for that?

thewebchat: Only for that.

uniquec: So what super hero powere would you like?

thewebchat: The ability to inspire homoerotic feelings in nearby targets.

uniquec: Why?

thewebchat: When they are overcome with feelings for their fellow man, they will suddenly find themselves unable to fight back and do more evil.

thewebchat: (This interview has now gone on for 1 hour.)

uniquec: Usually it lasts over a hour

thewebchat: D:

uniquec: Would you make a good super hero or abuse your powers?

thewebchat: Like Kokizzzle said before becoming an IRC Cop: "I will never abuse".

thewebchat: Aye.

uniquec: Favourite anime?

thewebchat: Shining Tears X Wind.

uniquec: Why?

thewebchat: The way it depicts the most glorious of human feelings. Loyalty, friendship, honour, trust, love.

uniquec: Which anime you hate the most?

thewebchat: What was the last one you subbed?

uniquec: Lol.

thewebchat: D:

uniquec: I don't fansub . ;p

thewebchat: Ah, you're just like me then!

uniquec: I'm more useless. :p

thewebchat: Heh.

uniquec: I just interview people who sometimes fansub.

thewebchat: I see.

uniquec: Any parting words of wisdom?

thewebchat: Sure: zomg it's finally over ?_?

uniquec: Lol yeah it's finally over. :p

thewebchat: D:

thewebchat: Only took what, 1h 13m?

uniquec: You can go back to being even more bored.

thewebchat: Indeed.

uniquec: Thanks for doing it.

thewebchat: No problem.

uniquec: Another compelling interview about cannabalism and no the Goddess isn't going to edit it out. The surprising topics that seem to interest fansubbers can only be misunderstood and viewed in all glory and humiliation on here.

Copyright 2009 Uniquec Productions

Any unauthorized use of this written work in any form without permission from the author will lead to lawful prosecution.